Published On: Mon, Dec 16th, 2013

Should You Beat Your Child?

A common problem that moms face is whether beating is a good way to make their kids behave in the right manner. So let us find out more about this important and sensitive issue. It is always good to base such stories on real life experiences so here is what my neighbour had to tell me couple of days ago in her own words. 

“It was a busy day at work and I was home really tired. As soon as I reached home I saw my eight year old son complaining of the food. He was fussy and said that he does not want to have this food. The common and most expected reaction was to hit him and force him to eat what he was given. Well just a few days back I read an article on how beating can be very harmful for the development of the child.

Yelling at Kids

Yelling at Kids

This is exactly why I told him to pack the food and said that we will go to the Mc Donald’s. He was thrilled no doubt and so we left. The Mc Donald’s is about five minutes walking and we decided to walk. On the way I saw a poor child begging. I called him and asked him his name. He said his name. Then I asked him what he had for lunch. The child said that the last meal he had was two days back and he did not know when he will eat next. He said that he was alone and did not have any parents.

My son was a little shocked to hear all this as this was very different from the world that he was aware of. I opened the lunch box that we had packed at home. There was chapatti and sabji. The child got excited and asked is this for me? I looked at my son and said yes. This is my son he finds this food boring this is exactly why I got it for you. The child took the box and started eating. We left the scene. We started walking towards Mc Donald’s. After few steps my son stopped and he insisted that we go back home. We reached home. We both were very silent all through. My son asked me to serve him the same food and he finished the whole meal without complaining. In the end he said mom I will never complain about food again. I was happy that I could teach him a lesson without raising a voice. This was a personal experience which many parents must have experienced.”

We will now move on to the topic of how beating and scolding a child must be avoided.

Instilling Discipline: Do We Have What It Takes?

We all want to discipline our child. Well we must remember that if we want to discipline someone we will have to get our self disciplined first. If you are short tempered and you beat the child what example are you setting. When a child is beaten very often he or she tends to become more stubborn.  I know that we have a lot of work and we all are stressed. That does not mean that we find an easy way out and that is hitting an innocent child.

When you regularly beat the child they become mentally and physically prepared that no matter what they will get thrashed. This can also demoralise them and make them lose self respect. We feel that it is a child and he or she will not understand that we are scolding them well that is not true. If you shout at a child in front of a lot of people they tend to get humiliated. This can make them introverts in the long run.

Mom Anger Management

Mom Anger Management

What do Psychiatrists Say?

The child psychiatrists will tell you that how small incidents from childhood can ruin the future of a person. Many children also start bed wetting as they are scared of the beating and the scolding. As a child they cannot even explain why they are behaving like this. We as a parent have to understand. Even the schools today have started to appreciate that beating can be very negative for the future of the student. No schools across the country support beating. If a child complains of beating strict action are taken against the teachers.

Speak The Universal Language: Love

Children no matter of what age they are do understand the meaning of love. Children are naughty and they cannot stay at one place for long. We have to channelize the energy of the children and ensure that the child can concentrate. It is very easy to beat up a child and make him seat quietly for few seconds. It takes a lot of patience and maturity to handle children.

This is exactly why we say that you must decide to get into parenthood when you are mentally and physically prepared for it. Only then you can enjoy the phase the most. All that you need to do is understand your child. If the child does a mistake speak to him or her and ask why they are behaving like that. When they give an explanation then make them understand where they went wrong.

Many children pick up fights in schools and the parents often get complaints. Instead of shouting at the child right away try to understand why they behaved so. Many children pick up fights to seek attention. You have to ensure that as a parent you spend a lot of quality time with the child. When you spend time with the child you will be able to understand them better.

Recognize Their Talent

Every child will have a talent. All that you have to do is recognise the talent and encourage the child to persue his or her talents. By doing so you will channelize the energy and also help they feel satisfied. You must encourage the child. If the child is an average encouragement can definitely reach higher than their potential. Being a parent is a full time job. The child is like clay the way you mould him or her exactly the shape they will take. If you beat them they will also become restless and short tempered. After a certain point of time they will know that you will hit them and these beatings will not make much difference to them. We hope you can understand what we are trying to explain.

You can read books and articles on managing a child. When you beat a child you must also remember that too much beating can also cause physical harm to the child. However, mental and emotional harm can be more severe with beating. Many parents beat the children for telling a lie or for hiding facts after doing something wrong.

Well beating can be the first and the most normal reaction. However, we would like to advise that you try to get to the root of the matter. If you beat the child for hiding facts they will never get the courage to tell you the truth. This is exactly why you should encourage the child to be friendly and share all their feelings with you. This again is possible when you spend a lot of quality time with the child.

The children from a young age must be encouraged to do puja this will calm them and improve concentration. You must teach the children to maintain a routine and ensure that they follow the same. They must be taught to respect others. They should know how to maintain their room and play area.

They must be told that when they are done with playing they should keep the toys in the right place. These may seem to be small things but they will make the kids responsible and also encourage them to do their work well. Many kids tend to overspend and also steal. No matter now grave the fault is we don’t support beating the child. These acts of beating can really damage the child’s self confidence.

You must give the child money in the form of pocket money and question them if they are over spending the same. Your child must be answerable to you know matter what age they are in. If you teach your child to live in budget it is not only going to make them disciplined this will also help you save a lot of money as many children tend to spend unnecessary money.

Discipline is something that must be brought into the child from a small age itself. Never feel that you will discipline the child when the child grows up. The earlier you start to train the child the better it is going to be for both you and the child.

Many parents feel that the children are not intelligent and the only way to stop them from doing something is to beat them well this is not true. Children do have an intelligence of their own. They will not get into trouble easily. This is exactly why when you talk to them and explain things to them they will not only listen but also understand. Beating a child can make them stubborn and they tend to do the things they have been told not to.

When you respect a child they will respect you back. I hope you have got some idea now of how to handle a child and also about how beating can be bad for the future of the child. We have tried to cover almost all the scenarios when a child gets beaten up. Well if there is a situation that has not been covered here always try to control it with presence of mind and patience.

About the Author

- A Lawyer, HR Professional and IT Consultant (Co-Owner Abhishek Solutions) and Editor-in-Chief of all websites operating under our banner, and above all the heart and soul of CanFightCancer platform

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