Friendship Lessons For Teens
Friendship is an age old relationship and perhaps the most important relationship of all. If you cannot be a friend with someone there is no hope for the relationship to develop any further. Each person has a vibe and an aura. This vibe and aura attracts others to you. We all have noticed that many times in life you meet people whom you tend to like almost instantly and then there are people you do not even feel like talking to for few minutes. This is basically because of the aura that the other person has. Aura determines the vibes that the person gives to another person. When you have an aura that attracts the other person then almost instantly you will become friends with the other person. It is also called the soul connect. Some say that it happens because you had met these people in previous life and that’s how the connect comes. It is not easy to describe this but definitely a connect between two people can mean a lot to the friendship.
The Changing Dynamics
Friendship has changed over the years. There have been any famous friendships in history between famous people. One very strong example of friendship was that of Rabindranath Tagore and Mahatma Gandhi. They both admired each other and they had a very strong bond. They shared their problems with each other using letters. In those days there were no phones or emails. That is why these two men would frequently write to each other. They both lived in two different parts of the country and they both met with each other only once or twice during their whole lifetime. In today’s world it is impossible to get a friendship like this. They shared letters and as they wrote to each other we all can read the letters that they had written to each other. These letters make a good collection for readers from all over the world. These letters take us back to an era that will perhaps never come back. Both these men believed that universal brotherhood and peace is what we all should aim at. Violence is no solution as it leads to more violence. They both asked for each other’s suggestions and also discussed various matters of political and social importance.
Good Old Days
In the olden days people would be friends with people they liked and with whom they felt a certain connect. Friendship did not depend on the class and economic status. For example Lord Krishna was a very good friend of Sudama. Sudama was a poor boy and lived most of his life in poverty. Krishna was the prince and the king. Yet he helped Sudama when he needed. Krishna never forgot Sudama even after years went by without even meeting Sudama. In mythology there are many friendships like this. For example Krishna was also a very good friend of Arjun. He motivated Arjun to fight against his own family. Krishna showed that how a friend can really encourage another friend and motivate them to do better in life. A friend not only tells us what is right they also tell us what is possible. This is why having the right friends is very important in life.
A Friend Indeed
A friend can determine what you will be and achieve in life. A person is known by the friends he or she has. When you chose a friend you must always be very careful. There are many stories in Upanishad and in Panchatantra that talk about the value and importance of friendship. The most common story is that of a rotten apple being kept with good apples and eventually all apples rotting.
All these stories indicate to the fact that friendship is indeed a very important relationship and it has been influencing world history. Yes some friendships last for a lifetime and some become cases of out of sight and out of mind. Some friendships can stand all tests of time and people are there who have been friends since they were toddlers. Some friends also decide to get married. There are many cases of best friends who become spouses later. In the olden days the trend was that men would generally become friends with men and women would like to be friends with women. Mostly because men and women had separate lives and interests. Today it is common to see men and women being good friends and share common interests. Women today work and they are independent that is exactly why they make friends with men and continue the friendships, this is acceptable to the society as well.
Story of Prithviraj & Bardai
In the ancient times people used to be really loyal to their friends. If they became friends with someone they would consider them as family and always stand for their friends. If the friends were in trouble the other friends would do all they can to help the friend in need. It is said that you will know who is a real friend only when there is a need. For example Prithviraj Chauhan and Chand Bardai were very good friends. Prithviraj Chauhan was the prince and Chand Bardai worked for him. Chand Bardai was like an advisor to Prithviraj Chauhan. Prithviraj Chauhan was imprisoned by Mahmud Ghori. Mahmud Ghori was a cruel ruler and he hated Prithviraj Chauhan. Mahmud Ghori did not treat Prithviraj Chauhan well; he told his soldiers to torture the prince and make him blind. Chand Bardai could not sleep one night in peace after he got to know that his friend was in the prison of Mahmud Ghori. Chand Bardai left his family and went on to look for Prithviraj Chauhan.
Chand Bardai was clever and brave. He knew that if he was caught he would be killed. Chand Bardai reached the kingdom of Mahmud Ghori. He would show magic tricks on the street and later he was taken to the king. Mahmud Ghori was very impressed by the skills of Chand Bardai and made him one of his advisors. Chand Bardai became close to the king so that he could find Prithviraj Chauhan who was in the prisons. Chand Bardai did find his friend after a lot of searching. It was risky but he did not give up. He was devastated to see the condition of his friend and he promised that he would ensure revenge is taken. Chand Bardai told Mahmud Ghori that Prithviraj Chauhan was a very good shooter and he could shoot at aims even without looking at them. Mahmud Ghori called for a big show as he wanted to see if Prithviraj Chauhan could actually shoot at things without seeing.
Prithviraj Chauhan was brought into the centre of the stage and he was given a bow and arrow. Chand Bardai told him exactly where Mahmud Ghori was sitting. By just listening to what Chand Bardai said, Prithviraj Chauhan shot the arrow and it pierced the heart of the cruel Mahmud Ghori. Soon both the friends were arrested and taken to the prison. Mahmud Ghori was dead. Chand Bardai knew that this would mean that both he and his friend will have to undergo a lot of humiliation and torture in the hands of the enemies. Without wasting even a minute Chand Bardai handed a dagger to Prithviraj Chauhan. Both the friends stabbed each other to death. It is perhaps the best example of true and self-less friendship that anyone can ever find in the whole of history.
These are some stories that we have heard of and have taught us the essence of friendship. Ages have changed and so as friendship. Today we live in a fast moving world where friendship aquires new meanings every day. Its difficult today to find true friends. The examples of friendship that we find today are sometimes from the war front where soldiers help the comrades to safety at the risk of their own lives.
Come In Tech
Today most of the friends keep in touch with phones. They can chat for hours on the phone but when it comes to face to face talking they cannot just talk for more than half an hour at a stretch. They do not know what to talk about. When friends are comfortable keeping in touch over phone they do not feel the need to talk to one another on face to face level anymore. Many friendships that we see today are like partnerships that simply aim at give and take. True friends do not need a social media to show off or keep in touch. They are just there for each other when the other friends need them. Especially the friendships between business tycoons and celebrities. They are just based on mutual benefits. They become friends for mutual gain. The aim is to get a better deal, a better business opportunity or it can simply be to get popularity.
Most of the news that we get about these celebrity friends are how much they party with each other, where they go on vacation and what gifts they have given to each other. Sometimes you also get news on how the friendship is not going well and they are avoiding each other. One example of such friendship was between Priyanka Chopra and Megan Markle. They both were like besties as they call it and now they are not even keeping in touch with each other. Megan could not attend any of the events related to the marriage of Priyanka Chopra and similarly Priyanka was not even invited to the baby showers of Megan.
The Ambanis are hosting some really lavish weddings for their children and they are inviting all the actors of Bollywood. They are inviting political leaders and business leaders from all over the world and the weddings are like dreams come true. The Bachans and Khans are serving food to the guests as a gesture that they are very close friends and almost like family to the Ambanis. Some say that these are just ways of Ambanis to show how powerful and rich they are. Some feel that it is just a way to attact more attention to the weddings. Some media reports also suggested that all these celebrities who attended the wedding were paid a crore each to do all these. So today most of the friendships have become money matters. Whoever has more money at the end of the day will have more friends. Similarly power gets you a lot of friends too.
Catching Em Young
In schools too the popular kids have a long queue of children who want to be friends with them. These kids are popular maybe because they are good in sports, in studies or they are just good looking, these popular kids have a lot of friends and everyone wants to be a part of their gang. Sometimes it does feel like friendship has become very flimsy and everything about it is so materialistic.
Keep in Touch
Very few of us keep in touch with friends, our excuse is that we are really busy. We know technology is the most important reason for destroying friendhip as people do not feel the need to interact with others. Whatever they want is there in the phone. We talk much less to each other today than we ever did before. Mostly in few years the art of talking and communicating will reduce more at the rate at which we are using the smart phones and other gadgets. Humans will become like robots. I think to build friendship it is important to have a conversation. To have a conversation it is essential that phones are kept aside. Next time when you go to meet friends try to keep the phone and go. See if you ever feel during the conversation the need to see the phone. If you feel like looking at the phone as you talk to your friends try not to, speak and try to make new conversations.
Gadgets: Boon or Curse
The gadgets that we use today are seriously impacting the way we communicate and the friendships that we build. We have to learn to live few hours of the day without looking at the phone. Few days back a child was telling that she wants to become a smart phone because the parents spend more time looking at the phone than looking at the child. The child feels a huge need to be loved and that emptiness is remaining. We tell the children to stay away from the phone but how can we expect the kids to do it if we are setting all wrong examples. It is stange that on phone you can chat with someone for hours but when you sit face to face you suddenly feel lost and do not know what to talk about. It is something we all must seriously think about.
Technology makes life easy for us that is great but it should not become life. The friendships we have discussed in the ancient times would not have happened if phone was there. We as humans are loosing out on emotions and needs to have a conversation. We have to teach the children that world can be possible without phones. We have seen this smart phone since the last decade or so just imagine the children who will grow up in a world today where there are smart phones all around. They will grow up with the feeling that friendship is keeping in touch with the phone and nothing else. They feel that virtual friendship is as good as real friendship but that is not true. There is a lot of difference when personal touch is involved.
Comparison
If we compare the friendship of ancient times with the friendships that we see today the main difference will be the influence of technology. In the ancient times technology was absent there wer no phones or mails. People would walk for hours and days to meet the friends. Sometimes they would also write letters. Today all these is missing, people keep in touch using the phones and when they meet each other again they are on the phones. Friendship is a very important relationship and it forms the basis for many relationships. We must appreciate it and try to build strong friends. We should teach our children the value and importance of having good friends. Friends who have been a part of our growing up years must be a part of our lives for ever. What we create with friends is memories and that can only be created when we spend time with the friends. Life is short and we must share it with people who are important. Children today have to be taught the importance and the beauty of memories that can last a lifetime. Friendship is the first relationship we make away from our family bonds. If we can be good friends we can be successful in all other relationships in life.
