Published On: Sat, May 3rd, 2014

Old Parents: Conceiving At Later Stages

With the changes in the life style the average age of becoming parents has gone up from mid twenties to early thirties. If there is a complication in conceiving and the couple takes up some treatments then the age of becoming parents can go up to mid thirties or early forties too. We will consider the age range of mid thirties to early forties as old parents for this article. Women today are more careers oriented than they were about a decade back. They make their careers and in mid thirties try to have a baby. There are many plus and minus that can be associated with old parents. We will first discuss the advantages to becoming parents late.

Old Parents Factors In Late Pregnancy

Old Parents Factors In Late Pregnancy

  1. Well when you become parents late you are more matured and you know how exactly you need to deal with the child. You are more balanced and emotionally controlled. Age makes you less aggressive and more calm as a result you can take the tantrums of a baby better. Younger parents tend to shout at the kids more as a result the gap between these parents and the kids start to increase. Both do not know how to handle each other especially when they are in their teenage.
  2. As you become more patient and the children have a bigger age difference with you. As a result you can understand the kids better and help them deal with their problems. When you are a young parent you yourself need to mature and learn things in life as a result you may not be able to handle the child in a sensitive manner. This is mostly because you are also growing up along with the child.
  3. As you get old you become financially more stable. You are economically better off than you were before. You are also well settled and well placed. As a young parent managing the expenses that come along with the child can be difficult and can also make to depressed. Many young parents say that they have to sacrifice a lot of wishes so that they can full fill those of the child. However, when you have a child in your early forties you have already done all that you wanted to in life and have more disposable income in hand. This reduces a lot of stress that can be associated with parenting. These couples have already travelled a lot and have some properties too as a result they are financially much more secured.
  4. A baby means a lot of responsibility. You have to ensure that you take good care of them. Feed them on time and also take their tantrums with having food. Many young mothers have to sacrifice their careers to take care of the child. When they try to come back to their profession after a maternity break it becomes difficult for them to get a job. This makes these mothers more frustrated and they tend to get depressed. Whereas women who have kids in forties have already made their careers and they are in a position where they can take a sabbatical. They have already proved themselves in the jobs. They might be having good ten to fifteen years of experience behind them. It is much better if they have spent these years in one company itself. It becomes easier for these mothers to get back to their jobs and careers compared to a mother who has only two years of work experience behind her.
  5. If you have a child in mid twenties there are a lot of lifestyle changes that you will have to do. For example you will not be able to party late, you have to give up on alcohol, you cannot travel for at least the first few years of having a baby. These changes may become too much for a parent to take. Many couples fight because of these and can also lead to divorce if the situation is not handled sensitively. As an old parent you have already been there and done that. After mid thirties most people tend to reduce partying. They prefer to quit smoking and drinking too. A healthy lifestyle helps them to plan better for a child. They are at this stage of life more prepared to have a child and ready to make these changes happily. Thus the stress of having a child reduces considerably.
  6. Having a child at an old age keeps you young at heart. This also helps the couple to build a stronger relationship and the spark continues for a longer time in the marriage. Research proves that having children late helps you look younger for a long time. As women tend to get busy with the wives they neglect the husbands as a result the marriages may suffer. The sex life suffers the most. In case of old parent this is not possible as you have already had some solid ten or fifteen years of marriage. You have already had a great sexual life and you are more prepared to take the plunge.

We will now move on to some of the disadvantages of becoming an old parent:

  1. Well the first problem is that if you have a child at forties you will have to ensure that you have enough savings in place. This is mainly because the child will still be in his or her college when you retire. You will have to support the child for a good five to six years even after you have retired. Many such parents can look at consulting as a profession as they can do so even after retirement. This can lead to some stress in the old age. This is not a huge problem if you have planned the finances properly.
  2. Health can be a concern. When you have a child at a young age your body can take the changes better. It can also help you to conceive better. However, as you grow old the ability of the body to conceive reduces. You may have to take more precaution during the pregnancy. This can be difficult and stressful if you are very keen on having a child. This can also increase your expenses as you will have to consult the doctor more regularly.
  3. As a young parent you will have more physical strength and stamina to manage the child and carry him or her around. As you get old the physical stamina reduces and you may not be able to run around with the child. However, regular exercise can ensure that you have the stamina even at this age.
  4. If you want to have a big family then you must look at becoming parents young. As you become old the chances of having many children will reduce at the max you have looked at having one healthy child.
  5. Many health problems can affect the mother who has had a late pregnancy. However, you must take care of your health and take time to recover. Have medicines and see to it that you get back to your normal health at the earliest. You must prioritise your health as you have a late pregnancy. Educate yourself and you will be able to deal with this problem. You also need to be positive that you can handle this situation.
  6. Most of the old parents tend to have waited a long time for a child. As a result they blindly love the kids. They pamper them and often make them spoilt brats. Too much of love and care is not good for the child. You must know that the child will have to face the world outside so you have to let them go. They will make mistakes and learn. These parents often become paranoid. This is not good for both you and the child. You must have your life and learn when to say a no. You can afford all that the child wants but you do not say a no they will never learn to value things in life.
  7. Some old parents become very desperate for a child and they tend to get depressed. This again can be stressful for the marriage. You must keep trying but ensure that you are prepared for any outcome. Child is god’s will and you will get it only when the time comes. You must be patient and keep trying with all faith.
  8. The chances of miscarriages and pre mature delivery increases as the mother get older. This is exactly why you must consult the doctor and you must ensure that you take adequate care of your health so that these accidents do not happen. If possible quit your job during the pregnancy.

We hope that these tips and points on old parent will help you to understand how you can deal with the situation better. There is no harm with becoming an old parent as long as you keep these points in mind.

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