Published On: Thu, Mar 28th, 2019

How to get someone out of addiction to porn

In the previous article we have had a discussion on how porn is bad for the mental and physical health of a person. There are many problems with watching porn that can be very harmful for the mental and emotional health of a person.

The biggest challenge in giving up porn

The biggest challenge in dealing with this addiction is to come to terms with the fact that it is an addiction and something has to be done about it. When a person is convinced that he is not well and needs treatment that is the first step towards dealing with this addiction. T

he person needs to first make up his mind that no matter what he will try to solve the problem with whatever he has. The partner and the family members of the person who is addicted also must play an important role to ensure that the addicted individual is able to deal with this problem and can come out of the addiction.

Porn is an addiction and it is not easy to get over this addiction. Nevertheless, many people have successfully fought this addiction in the past and they have come out as winners. There is a proper way of approaching this problem and when you get the approach right there is no stopping you. If the person who is into the addiction is not able to understand that he has a problem then the people around him must try to help and get him out of the addcition. Taking a person out of porn addiction can be equally difficult for the people around him.

Kindness and empathy

If you know someone who is addicted to watching porn and you want to help them then you will have to make yourself really strong and ensure that you do all the things that we have mentioned here to bring them out of the addiction. It is tough and it is indeed a challenge that not everyone can take up. The person who is addicted  has been doing it for years. The brain of the person is now programmed in such a way that he finds this abnormal addiction as normal. It is tough but you will have to approach the situation with kindness and empathy.

No matter what is the relationship that you share with the person who is addicted to porn you have to deal with the situation in a kind way. You must first indirectly try to explain to the person that  porn is wrong and addiction to it can be dangerous. It is always advisable that you do not approach the person directly and tell them to stop. It can only make them defensive and more aggressive. Try to quote the example of a third party and try to discuss about how that person was affected by porn addiction.

Some tips for porn de-addiction

Some things that you must avoid as you approach a person who has porn addiction is mentioned below:

  1. This is the most difficult thing to do. Try to keep yourself in the position of the person who is addicted by porn. You will notice that it is so tough for this person to get rid of this addiction. Even if he is trying to get rid of the addiction the challenges that he faces are many. His brain and body are completely in control of this addcition and he does not know how to deal with it. You are trying to help a person who is addicted so you have to show patience. No one here is immune to addiction. Nevertheless, some people can get influenced by it more easily compared to the others.
  • The person who is addicted is already feeling guilty enough. You do not have to make them feel more worse. They are also feeling humiliated and they do not know how to deal with the situation. They just need help and understanding. You do not have to make them feel more guity as that will only make the situation worse. Try to be positive and encouraging. Try to push them towards better and not push them towards the worse by humiliating them.
  • Try not to threat the addict. Many people feel that if they threat the person then it will help and they will get over the addiction faster. This is not true. When the addict is threaten the possibility that he will try stay alone and cut out communication with everyone. You cannot be harsh and threaten the person instead you must try to be normal and encourage the good things at the same time point out the things that went wrong in a friendly and supportive way. You must be honest and not sugar coat your feelings. Threats can harm the relationship permanently. Especially when you are in an intimate relationship with the person you cannot use threatning.
  • Do not discuss about with too many people as each one of then can give you advises that may do more harm than good. Discussing too much will also make the addict feel more humiliated.
  • Do not make an assumption about the addict. Until you have a solid proof do not assume that this is what must have happened.
  • Do not pass a judgement about the addict. You must not pass a judgement on the addict. Try to show compassion and care to the person. Do not judge him under sany circumstances.
  • Do not ever ignore the problem as that may make the situation worse for the person. Face the situation and see what best you can do to get the person out of the addict.
  • If the addict asks you for any type of help always ensure that you are there to help him. Not responding to a call for help is definitely not advisable.
  • Never lash out at the person who is suffering from the addiction. Try to show compassion and be as gentle and patient as you can with the person.
  1. If you know that a certain person is addicted to watching porn try  not to spread rumors and gossip about the problem and the addiction. It will only make the addiction worse.

Now that you know what you should not do when you are dealing with a person who has an addiction. We are now going to discuss a few points that you must do in order to help a person come out of the addiction. These are:

  1. Not all of us know how to help people with addiction. Instead try to seek a professional help from a person who knows how to help those who have an addiction. A professional will be able to explain to you how although the addiction is the same the approach to deal with I has to be different from one case to the other. They will ask you all the details and then decide what should be the approach to deal with the addiction of the person you are concerned about. The counseller will call both the partners to come and discuss. This is important as in porn addiction even the partner who is not addicted is equally affected by the addiction.
  • Coming out of the addiction will take a lot of time. Do not expect that one or two sessions with the counseller and the addiction will be over. The sessions will go for along time and that will mean you will have to support the person who is addicted. You must have an open communication not only with the addict but also with the person who is doing the counselling. As you talk and communicate the person suffering will be able to heal faster and better. You too will feel good as you are able to communicate with the person and express what you are going through.

The bond and trust is critical also with the counsellor. You must be able to express clearly and openly to the person. The addict should have a good connect with the counsellor only then he will be able to communicate his problems and as a result a solution can be reached. The addiction to watching porn is a very severe addiction and it can take months to get rid of this addiction. Sometimes even years. If the addiction is handled well there is a very slight chance that it will come back.

  • You can set boundaries too that are healthy. For example there are a lot of support groups who help people to deal with addiction. You can get in touch with these groups or with people who have been addicted in some point or the other in their life. When you have a target in sight the boundaries that you have set for yourself can also work.
  • Self-compassion and positive talking with the person who is an addict is also a great way to help the person to get over an addiction.
  • We all like to be appreciated even the addict feels good if anyone appreciates them. If you feel that the addict is doing something well and getting over his addiction well then do appreciate it.
  • Always stay positive no matter how tough the situation seems. A positive attitude is all that you need in order to deal with an addiction.
  • Talk to the addict and try to work on a recovery plan with the addict. Keep some points and mile stones set and ensure that you follow them. Set realistic goals. That helps a lot when you are dealing with addiction of any type.
  • A professional will be able to help you better with making a recovery plan. They can also help you to understand the triggers better.
  •   Keep checking the plan that you had made see if you are on track. This will give you as well as the addict a feel of hope and achievement.
  1. Although you have a task in hand to get over the addiction and it will take a lot of time and energy. Remember that meditation and self-reflection can really help you a lot to become strong from within and deal with the addiction. When you are strong from within and your mind is strong addictions will stay far away from you.
  1. The addict is a person you love it can be a son, a friend or a husband. You have to keep making them feel that you love them and you want them to be all right. True love can give a lot of power to those who are suffering from addiction. You can do small little things that will make these people feel that you love them and care for them.
  1. As you talk to the person who is an addict try to understand what they feel you should do to help them in order to deal with the addiction. They may have a very different opinion and understanding their perspective may make your job easier.

These are some small things that can be done by you to help a person who is an addict to this. Addiction to porn is dangerous and it can really ruined lives. Especially small kids and teenagers who are addicted to porn can end up spoiling their lives and future.

No matter how you are related to the person who is addicted to porn you must ensure that you do not give up and keep trying to get this person out of this mental disease. Teenagers from around the world are suffering from this and need help. The figures are scary and as parents it is heart breaking to see children getting addicted to something like this. There are some teenagers who have to see these 24 hours a day.

The good news is that no matter how bad the addiction is there is hope. Anyone who has got into this addiction can come out of it all they need is a little help and support from the family members. Porn is not right. As long as you control it you can watch but the moment it starts to control your mind and body you are in trouble.

Most of the users tell that they did not really understand when this became an addiction and they actually feel that the addiction is normal and there is nothing wrong with them. There are many wrong believes about watching porn that are doing rounds and the most common one being that it is absolutely safe to watch it and it is normal. This is not true porn is unnatural, it is commercialized, some people within the first few days itself realize that there is something wrong with it and they stop.

Some people who are going through some emotional or personal crisis in their lives get addicted to it faster and they do not even realize. Especially kids get addicted in no time. As parents if you have the habit of watching porn you must try to control your habit before you pass it on to the kids. Once a teenager gets into watching porn regularly the whole life of the child may be in jeopardy.

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